Last year I set an intention; I want new friendships – but not just anybody. I want people that I can deeply connect with – whether it is a normal friendship, business partnerships or love interests. I want real connections and I got them. 

Have you ever found yourself asking; do I have real friends? You know, people that you can really rely on and be open and honest with, without the fear of being judged or dismissed? I asked myself this question and I could only count 2 persons outside of my family. For sure I have a few more friends but let´s put it this way; the relationship was only on a surface level. Those are the friends you would invite to a birthday party or your big wedding, but maybe not call at midnight if you are having a crisis.

So, there I was all sad and alone last year, having a pity party and thinking what a loser I must be that I don´t have REAL friends. But after feeling my sadness and frustration, I started to realize why I lost connection with others…

Because I lost the connection with myself.  

It all started when I was a few years into my relationship and realized that I was not happy with the direction of the relationship. But you know how this is, the longer you stay, the more difficult it becomes to leave. Especially if you have low self-esteem and you don´t want to get out of your comfort zone. I had such a stressful job at that time coming home, eat and watch Netflix was my only comfort. After covid it got worse. I disconnected completely. 

I stopped putting effort in building relationships with anybody. I was not initiating contact or conversations with my friends, I was not asking how they were doing, I was not involving them – I was simply not interested in their live. I was focused only on my job and money, chasing titles and luxury items. My social life revolved around my job. 

Until everything fell apart. My entire life exploded and the illusion of my identity dissolved. All that was left was the fragile little girl that I used to be when I came to Switzerland. 

It took me a year and half to build myself back up and recognize who I really was. Today, I feel so whole and connected with myself that I could not imagine going back to the life I had before. 

And here I am today with a lot of incredible connections.

In the most unexpected ways, this year brought people into my life who feel so deeply close to my heart, it almost feels like magic. I have never experienced this before. Even some friends and family from the past came back to reconnect and it´s like time never passed. 

I came to the conclusion that the more connected you are with yourself, the faster you will connect with others; you attract who you are.

Every time I see my friends, it feels like looking into a mirror — the creative artist who shines, the curious soul eager to explore, the visionary entrepreneur, the mindful woman finding balance in her Pilates and Yoga practice, the wild spirit who loves to celebrate or the spiritual soul reading the horoscope — they are all reflections of me, guiding me back into a deeper connection with myself. 🩷